The following is a portion of a monologue I wrote several years ago. It takes place some ten years in the future. If it seems a bit melodramatic and over the top keep in mind I was in a deep depression.
I pray no one takes umbrage with my words for they are my faith. This, I believe is my future.
His family is gathered round the bed: the room quiet save for the sound of labored breathing. He reaches out a feeble hand only to have it immediately grasped by two strong masculine ones.
‘’Is that you boy?’’ he asks in a quavering voice.
‘’Yes Dad, its me. I’m right here. We’re all here. Even your new great-grandson is here to see you.
‘’Let me see the child. I want to see him before its time.’’
‘’Now don’t be talking like that Dad. You’ll be out of here in no time.’’
He looks deep into the eyes of his beloved son and sees only a deep abiding love.
‘’We both know how I’ll be leaving this room Jason.’’
Jason begins to weep softly
‘’Now, now. My pain will soon be over and look at that beautiful baby you’re going to help raise. You have to be there for him. You have to take my place. Now hush up and let me see the boy.’’
His granddaughter pushes her way up to the head of the bed.
‘’Isn’t he the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen Papa? We named him after you. His name is Darrel Alan.’’
Amidst all his pain he manages a sigh of contentment. Life had not been easy but he had been able to pull it off and close his life out with peace and contentment. Yes, and lots of love.
Jason brushes a strand of gray hair from his father’s forehead.
‘’We’re all right here Dad. We’re all here. Dad? Daddy? Wake up Daddy. Daddy please wake up.’’ Jason cries softly.
He gasps and opens his eyes. There is no sense of feeling. No up or down. Nothing but darkness.
‘’Isn’t there supposed to be a bright light to follow or something?’’
A soft voice whispers. ‘’Wait. Be patient and wait.’’
He heeds the voice and waits quietly.
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I think this story is well written and very touching-- and asks a question many of us have. My best to you Darell.
ReplyDeleteI recently lost my grandmother...and me and my two boys were at her bedside during the final days. I know that meant everything to her.
ReplyDeleteI hope when my times comes that I am blessed to have grandchildren with me.
Tricia
ReplyDeleteThank you for your vote of confidence
darrel
Josef
ReplyDeleteI'm confident my time will come as described. I hope you too are surrounded by loved ones when God closes the last chapter of your life
Thank you my friend
darrel
I remember when the pastor that baptized my children died. He was surrounded by people that really loved him. I can still hear him saying,"I am ready Lord. I am ready."
ReplyDeleteTo me knowing that you will see the face of Jesus in the end is the most prized gift death can bring. You can be sure that your loved ones will have comfort in that thought and that is what will get them through.
I never think of how I will die just that those that are still here will know that I am saving them a seat at the banquet.
That was beautiful, Darrel! But ... I hope that scene doesn't play out for a very, very long time!
ReplyDeleteSmall Footprints
http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com
Inge
ReplyDeleteI know where I'm going and am ready to go.. my family, of course.,,,,,,,, doesn't want me too but I'm just tired of the pain. I do know this,however, it will be in His timing. So I don't worry about it.
darrel
Small
ReplyDeleteAt least 10 years. I'm so glad you like it................I got 4 more pages that I was reluctant to share but I think I may now.
Its sort of a happy sad story
darrel
I agree with Small Footprints above - I sincerely hope that scene doesn't play out for a very, very long time! Thank you for your comment on my blog, particularly because it led me to your blog!
ReplyDeleteThe reason I'm particularly glad for that is because you changed my mind - I was a bit apprehensive visiting your blog at first, because there are so many blogs out there that amount to nothing more than bitter one-note agonising over how crap the blogger's life is, but after reading through your last 6 posts I am happy to say you proved me utterly, totally and completely wrong and I'm glad to be following you.
I can't claim to understand the hell that you've been bravely enduring for the last 30 years, but you've certainly given me an insight into something I'd never have got an insight into if it wasn't for reading your blog. We are surrounded every day by common misconceptions of depression and bipolar states and it's good to see you exploding some of the myths (I still can't believe the nerve of the two physicians who stupidly told you that "Happiness is a choice" - that's absolutely outrageous, as if you can "choose" to suffer from depression any more than you can choose to be a man! How ignorant! How insulting! And how absolutely disrespectful to your good self, too!) Particularly in the modern world, there seems to be a general fear and lack of sympathy surrounding mental illnesss, and it's a shame because so often the stigma is totally unwarranted.
Here in the UK it's no different, and it's been completely forgotten that some of the greatest individuals in our history suffered from some form of mental illness (Winston Churchill, our wartime prime minister who is often considered the greatest leader that Britain ever had; Sir Isaac Newton, scientist and physician who discovered gravity; Florence Nightingale, wartime nurse and health campaigner, and any number of writers - the poet Lord Byron, the novelist Charles Dickens and the author of the Harry Potter book series, J K Rowling are all examples). It is actually my belief that these individuals are all the greater for battling with mental illness while achieving what they did, and it's high-time the stigma was changed. Like the polio example you quoted. People need to know what it's REALLY like living with something as debilitating as bipolar disorder, and the great thing about your posts is that you do it with grace, poignancy and wry humour.
Thanks again for sharing your post with me and keep posting. Keep writing what's on your heart, we want to hear it. And I apologise for making this post so long :-)
Adding to my last post, here's a link to an article that appeared in a British tabloid newspaper about rethinking depression / bipolar disorder by the top adviser of our former Prime Minister Tony Blair. I know it's a British rather than an American article, but I hope you find it encouraging.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2009/02/10/time-to-rethink-mental-illness-115875-21111337/
Take care :-)