.
So I just got out of the hospital yesterday. AGAIN!!
The doctors told me I had an overdose of one of my antidepressants. This is the second time this year that I have overdosed on antidepressants. The first was Lithium in May. It sent me into a coma and I was in ICU for three days.
This time it was Equetro which caused severe vertigo and constant vomiting.
Because of my adverse reactions I have been taken off all depressants save Luvox which seems to have no affect whatsoever (placebo)?
Without my antidepressants I am once again plunged into the deep abyss of depression. I think it is almost as hard for Sherry as it is for me. She told me the other night that it hurt her so to see me in such pain. But what can I do? The doctors are afraid to prescribe anything new since my kidneys shut down and Lithium built up in my system and caused me to go into a coma.
Were it not for my daughter I would probably be with the Lord right now.
My doctor told me I am a triple threat………..
1. Congestive Heart Failure,
2. Pulmonary Hypertension
3. Asthma
Do I feel sorry for myself? No, I just wish it would end.
Showing posts with label Hospital. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hospital. Show all posts
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Too Much of a Good Thing
I depend on Lithium to control my depression, but since the hospital episode I'm afraid to take it. (See previous post)
I can't sink back into the hell of depression. I can't. I won't.
This is what I found out about overdosing on Lithium. I was experiencing most of the symptoms. Why didn't my psych spot them?
Symptoms:
* Abnormal heart rhythms
* Breathing difficulties (x)
* Coma (x)
* Concentration difficulties (x)
* Confusion (x)
* Convulsions
* Drowsiness (x)
* Diarrhea (x)
* Increased thirst (x)
* Increased urine output
* Low blood pressure (x)
* Loss of appetite
* Muscle twitching (x)
* Rash
* Seizures
* Sluggishness (x)
* Slurred speech (x)
* Stupor (lack of alertness) (x)
* Tremors (x)
* Vomiting
* Weakness (x)
* Uncoordinated movement (x)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Remembering?
A flurry of doctors and nurses hovered above my bed.
“Check this, check that. How’s he responding?”
Finally, “He’s coming out of it. He’ll be alright; you can move him to ICU now.
All this was a blur that I vaguely remember.
My first clear recollection was that of a psychiatric nurse standing at the foot of my bed asking me if I tried to commit suicide by overdosing on Lithium.
I really can’t remember. I don’t want to commit suicide. Since my depression is under control, I have too much to live for. I would never do something like that; would I?
I agonized; wondering if I did the unthinkable. Would I? Could I?
But what did cause my black out? I remember nothing after I went to bed Tuesday night. Sherry tells me I insisted that she go on to the bookstore without me the next morning. She tells me that she later called our daughter to go check on me. Our daughter and her husband let themselves in and went back to the master bedroom only to find me curled up in a fetal position at the head of the bed. Kimlin says that I insisted that Shaun dress me while she left the room. I don’t remember any of this; just waking up in ICU.
“But I’ve been taking Lithiu
m for years and all it’s done is stabilize my mood. How can it knock me out after all these years?”
She mumbled something about kidneys processing and went on to grill me about wanting to die.
I didn’t want to die; I wanted to find out how Lithium could knock me out. I never did get a straight answer. Instead I got a nurse who asked me if I could write my name, write a check, write down my address, make change for a one dollar bar of soap, catch a cross-town bus; (I flunked this one because I haven’t ridden a city bus in 40 years). So she asked me if I could find my house from the hospital. I asked her about the Lithium but she didn’t know. I left the hospital two days later with my question still unanswered.
I continue to wonder.
What if it happens again and I don't wake up?
“Check this, check that. How’s he responding?”
Finally, “He’s coming out of it. He’ll be alright; you can move him to ICU now.
All this was a blur that I vaguely remember.
My first clear recollection was that of a psychiatric nurse standing at the foot of my bed asking me if I tried to commit suicide by overdosing on Lithium.
I really can’t remember. I don’t want to commit suicide. Since my depression is under control, I have too much to live for. I would never do something like that; would I?
I agonized; wondering if I did the unthinkable. Would I? Could I?
But what did cause my black out? I remember nothing after I went to bed Tuesday night. Sherry tells me I insisted that she go on to the bookstore without me the next morning. She tells me that she later called our daughter to go check on me. Our daughter and her husband let themselves in and went back to the master bedroom only to find me curled up in a fetal position at the head of the bed. Kimlin says that I insisted that Shaun dress me while she left the room. I don’t remember any of this; just waking up in ICU.
“But I’ve been taking Lithiu
m for years and all it’s done is stabilize my mood. How can it knock me out after all these years?”She mumbled something about kidneys processing and went on to grill me about wanting to die.
I didn’t want to die; I wanted to find out how Lithium could knock me out. I never did get a straight answer. Instead I got a nurse who asked me if I could write my name, write a check, write down my address, make change for a one dollar bar of soap, catch a cross-town bus; (I flunked this one because I haven’t ridden a city bus in 40 years). So she asked me if I could find my house from the hospital. I asked her about the Lithium but she didn’t know. I left the hospital two days later with my question still unanswered.
I continue to wonder.
What if it happens again and I don't wake up?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Hope For Depression
Hospital of St Mary of Bethlehem
Hospital of St Mary of Bethlehem has been a part of London since 1247, first as a priory for the sisters and brothers of the Order of the Star of Bethlehem. In 1330 it is mentioned as a hospital, and it admitted the mentally ill from 1377 though by1403 there were only nine inmates.
Early sixteenth century maps show Bethlehem as a courtyard with a few stone buildings, a church and a garden. Conditions were consistently dreadful, and the care amounted to little more than restraint. There were 31 patients and the noise was "so hideous, so great; that they are more able to drive a man that hath his wits rather out of them"'. Violent or dangerous patients were manacled and chained to the floor or wall. Some were allowed to leave, and licensed to beg. In 1598 an inspection showed neglect; the cesspool badly needed emptying, and the kitchen drains needed replacing. There were 20 patients there, one of whom had been there in excess of 25 years.
Between 1728 and 1852, Bethlehem's physicians all came from the Monro family -- James, John, Thomas and Edward Thomas They brought in a few therapeutic innovations -- cold and hot baths for instance -- but Bethlehem’s mainstays were the familiar purgatives (induced diarrhea) and emetics (induced vomiting), with a routine spring bloodletting using leeches, and manacles for the troublesome.
When Bethlehem was visited in 1814 by Edward Wakefield, he was shocked on encountering one patient.
James Norris:
A stout iron ring was riveted round his neck, from which a short chain passed through a ring made to slide upwards and downwards on an upright massive iron bar, more than six feet high, inserted into the wall. Round his body a strong iron bar about 12 inches wide was riveted; on each side of the bar was a ring; which was fashioned to and enclosed each of his arms, pinioned them close to his sides.
James Norris had been thus immobilized for twelve years.
Bethlehem Hospital became famous and infamous for the brutal ill-treatment meted out to the insane. In the 18th century people used to go there to see the lunatics. For a penny one could peer into their cells, view the freaks of the "show of Bethlehem" and laugh at their antics, generally of a sexual nature or violent fights. Entry was free on the first Tuesday of the month. Visitors were permitted to bring long sticks with which to poke and enrage the inmates. In 1814, there were 96,000 such visits, approximately 260 per day.
Let me tell a story that very well may have taken place in the 19th century
A man has a beloved son who often throws himself to the ground writhing and foaming at the mouth. The man takes his son to the local priest hoping against hope that something could be done. Didn’t Jesus Himself cast demons from a boy in a similar situation?
The priest prayers for days and performs exorcisms to no available.
The man, sadly, turns to Bethlehem as the only place to shelter his son.
The young man, perhaps named James Norris, spends the next twelve years as described above; sitting in his own feces with nothing to look forward to but the weekly visits of the town-folk with the their sticks and their jeers.
Today we have medications that allow epileptics to lead relativity normal lives. We know so much more about brain chemicals that James Norris would never have had to suffer as he did.
In a few years the average person will realize that depression is not “the blues” or just plain old “laziness” but a chemical imbalance that can be corrected
The name of the hospital was later shortened to “Bedlam”. Bedlam now means a place, scene, or state of uproar and confusion.
http://instruct.uwo.ca/english/234e/site/bckgrnds/maps/lndnmpbedlam.html
http://books.google.com/books?id=3EEOAAAAQAAJ&pg=PA29&lpg=PA29&dq=st+mary+bethlehem+hospital&source=web&ots=gTc9iMfXh1&sig=G-HZBAFCOewAOa0ewtphOWLkRj4&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=7&ct=result
Hospital of St Mary of Bethlehem has been a part of London since 1247, first as a priory for the sisters and brothers of the Order of the Star of Bethlehem. In 1330 it is mentioned as a hospital, and it admitted the mentally ill from 1377 though by1403 there were only nine inmates.
Early sixteenth century maps show Bethlehem as a courtyard with a few stone buildings, a church and a garden. Conditions were consistently dreadful, and the care amounted to little more than restraint. There were 31 patients and the noise was "so hideous, so great; that they are more able to drive a man that hath his wits rather out of them"'. Violent or dangerous patients were manacled and chained to the floor or wall. Some were allowed to leave, and licensed to beg. In 1598 an inspection showed neglect; the cesspool badly needed emptying, and the kitchen drains needed replacing. There were 20 patients there, one of whom had been there in excess of 25 years.
Between 1728 and 1852, Bethlehem's physicians all came from the Monro family -- James, John, Thomas and Edward Thomas They brought in a few therapeutic innovations -- cold and hot baths for instance -- but Bethlehem’s mainstays were the familiar purgatives (induced diarrhea) and emetics (induced vomiting), with a routine spring bloodletting using leeches, and manacles for the troublesome.
When Bethlehem was visited in 1814 by Edward Wakefield, he was shocked on encountering one patient.
James Norris:
A stout iron ring was riveted round his neck, from which a short chain passed through a ring made to slide upwards and downwards on an upright massive iron bar, more than six feet high, inserted into the wall. Round his body a strong iron bar about 12 inches wide was riveted; on each side of the bar was a ring; which was fashioned to and enclosed each of his arms, pinioned them close to his sides.
James Norris had been thus immobilized for twelve years.
Bethlehem Hospital became famous and infamous for the brutal ill-treatment meted out to the insane. In the 18th century people used to go there to see the lunatics. For a penny one could peer into their cells, view the freaks of the "show of Bethlehem" and laugh at their antics, generally of a sexual nature or violent fights. Entry was free on the first Tuesday of the month. Visitors were permitted to bring long sticks with which to poke and enrage the inmates. In 1814, there were 96,000 such visits, approximately 260 per day.
Let me tell a story that very well may have taken place in the 19th century
A man has a beloved son who often throws himself to the ground writhing and foaming at the mouth. The man takes his son to the local priest hoping against hope that something could be done. Didn’t Jesus Himself cast demons from a boy in a similar situation?
The priest prayers for days and performs exorcisms to no available.
The man, sadly, turns to Bethlehem as the only place to shelter his son.
The young man, perhaps named James Norris, spends the next twelve years as described above; sitting in his own feces with nothing to look forward to but the weekly visits of the town-folk with the their sticks and their jeers.
Today we have medications that allow epileptics to lead relativity normal lives. We know so much more about brain chemicals that James Norris would never have had to suffer as he did.
In a few years the average person will realize that depression is not “the blues” or just plain old “laziness” but a chemical imbalance that can be corrected
The name of the hospital was later shortened to “Bedlam”. Bedlam now means a place, scene, or state of uproar and confusion.
http://instruct.uwo.ca/english/234e/site/bckgrnds/maps/lndnmpbedlam.html
http://books.google.com/books?id=3EEOAAAAQAAJ&pg=PA29&lpg=PA29&dq=st+mary+bethlehem+hospital&source=web&ots=gTc9iMfXh1&sig=G-HZBAFCOewAOa0ewtphOWLkRj4&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=7&ct=result
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