Hospital

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So I just got out of the hospital yesterday. AGAIN!!

The doctors told me I had an overdose of one of my antidepressants. This is the second time this year that I have overdosed on antidepressants. The first was Lithium in May. It sent me into a coma and I was in ICU for three days.

This time it was Equetro which caused severe vertigo and constant vomiting.
Because of my adverse reactions I have been taken off all depressants save Luvox which seems to have no affect whatsoever (placebo)?

Without my antidepressants I am once again plunged into the deep abyss of depression. I think it is almost as hard for Sherry as it is for me. She told me the other night that it hurt her so to see me in such pain. But what can I do? The doctors are afraid to prescribe anything new since my kidneys shut down and Lithium built up in my system and caused me to go into a coma.

Were it not for my daughter I would probably be with the Lord right now.

My doctor told me I am a triple threat………..
1. Congestive Heart Failure,
2. Pulmonary Hypertension
3. Asthma

Do I feel sorry for myself? No, I just wish it would end.

Circumstances of my Death

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I don't know if I've posted this already but I guess I want people to know;

Let me tell you of the circumstances of my death
I died in the summer of 1975
I was 27 years old and was a very successful production manager. I had about 100 employees. I had a private office on the mezzanine. I used to look out my window and wonder if this was what I was going to do the rest of my life. Was I going to spend the rest of my life watching other people work?
I decided to sit down and set some goals for the rest of my life. If I could do anything I wanted, what would I do?

The goals I finally settled on and wrote down were:

1. I want to teach others how to lead successful Christian lives
2. I want to be involved with pubic speaking
3. I want to be financially independent
4. I want my income to be residual

.... i. I had seen so many Christians who equated poverty with piety. I wanted ..... to teach them that God wants us to be prosperous
.... ii. I had found out from taking the Dale Carnegie course in public speaking ..... that I had a real knack for public speaking
.... iii. I wanted the financial success that I was going to teach about
.... iv. I thought a residual income would maybe be a book

I finished my Bachelor’s Degree and picked up my new family and moved them to Ft Worth where I could pursue a Master’s degree in Christian Education. I figured if anyone could teach me the secrets of Christian success, it would be a Seminary
I tried time and again to get into something that would allow me to fulfill my goals. Nothing worked. Finally after five years I gave up, came back to Wichita, got my old job back and died inside
Maybe you could say I took the poison when I was 27 and died when I was 32.